1st Step in Church Discipline
Confront Personally
The first step is personal confrontation.
Make note again of the Purposes of Church Discipline? To Glorify God, To maintain the purity of the church, To vindicate the integrity and honor of Christ, To reclaim offenders – Restoration, To deter others from sin.
Matthew 18:15 “And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private”
A brother is a fellow Christian, one who is part of the family of God, one who has believed in Christ and now is functioning as part of the Body of Christ. “Brother” is used generically in the text. If a sister sins, the principle is the same. The situation described applies to any believer who sins. Basically, any area of a believer’s life that is openly in rebellion to the Word of God is in view here. (We are talking professing believers)
If a Christian is in sin and it becomes known to a fellow believer, the brother or sister is to confront that Christian. There is no responsibility to go and tell someone else.
- If God has made the sin known to a believer, it is His indication that He wants the sin confronted.
- He didn’t make one believer aware of the sin so that another believer could make the confrontation.
- The believer made aware of the sin is the believer to do the confronting.
God puts it strongly in His Word, “Go and reprove him” (Matthew 18:15).
A correction must be made. So the believer should approach the sinning Christian properly—in love.
The confrontation is to be done “in private” (Matthew 18:15). Don’t wait until other people are around. Talk to the Christian about the sin, which has been revealed. That is hard to do, but it is the manifestation of true Christian love. Trust God to lead, confront the fellow believer, and demonstrate Christian love. There is no way to anticipate the reaction, but trust God to work in the life of His child
Matthew says, “If he listens to you, you have won your brother” (Matthew 18:15). If there is repentance, that is the end of the matter. It’s over!
Remember the first step is a private meeting: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone." What this is really saying is, "if your brother sins, period" -- i.e., if your brother (or your sister) is clearly violating by his actions something that the Word of God says is wrong, and does not do anything about it, we are to go to him and tell him his fault between the two of us.
The church is a body, and members of that body belong one to another. Perhaps no two words appear more frequently in the Scripture than those words, one another. We are to do many things to one another, and one of them is to help one another when we do not see or recognize that what we are doing is wrong.
Notice that our Lord specifically says it involves a question of sin -- and sin is defined by the Word of God. Jesus is not saying, "If your brother irritates you, or offends you, or ignores you, you are to go to him about that." There is another great word in the Christian life that covers irritations: it is the word forbearance. We are to bear with one another. We all irritate each other, and offend one another, and when we do we are to forbear one another; we are to put up with it, to forgive it without saying anything about it to the person involved. But this passage is dealing with sins, and sins are defined for us in the Scripture.
In the letter to the Ephesians, the Apostle Paul sets forth some of the clearly sinful things that we Christians tend to do to one another.
Therefore, putting away falsehood, let every one speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his hands, so that he may be able to give to those in need. Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
But fornication and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is fitting among saints. Let there be no filthiness, nor silly talk, nor levity, which are not fitting; but instead let there be thanksgiving. (Ephesians4:25-5:4 {RSV}
That is a representative list of some of the things that the Word of God defines as sin. Also see POST 3 for a more comprehensive list
Al Mohler comments on Step 1 from his article The Missing Mark
“The Lord instructed his disciples that they should first confront a sinning brother in private. "Show him his fault," instructed the Lord. If the brother acknowledges the sin and repents, the brother has been won. The fact that the first step is a private confrontation is very important. This limits the injury caused by the sin, and avoids a public spectacle, which would tarnish the witness of the church to the gospel”.
Don’t tell someone else about the situation—that would be sin.
Don’t gossip or spread rumors.
Remember God commands that the situation be dealt with privately.
Rejoice and praise God for His grace and His work.
Thank God, but that’s it!
It is strictly between you and that person and the Lord.
Luke 17:3 gives the same pattern. “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.”
Galatians 6:1 similarly says, “Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one.”
Restore is used when speaking of mending and repairing nets (Matthew 4:21).
“Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness” (Galatians 6:1).
Do not approach someone in a spirit of superiority.
Approach in a spirit of gentleness or meekness, “each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).
Don’t go with an arrogant attitude, but go with the sincere desire to help.
Be careful not to be drawn into sin.
One last HUGE point before leaving
STEP 1 “Personal Confrontation”.
When practiced properly 90% (or maybe more) of Biblical Church Discipline finds itself in Step 1.
This would include husband with wife, wife with husband, Parents with children, children with parents – dealing daily with sin with one another. Brother to Brother – Sister to Sister – teacher to student, etcetera. Not unkind confrontation but a loving desire for honoring God.
90% of Church Discipline no one knows anything about except the 2 parties involved (Personal Confrontation).
If it is a consistent process it encourages sanctification in the Body of Christ. Something (sanctification) that all believers need – even you.
We are respsonsible to one another in this matter of Church Discipline.
So – ARE YOU actively involved in Biblical Church Discipline for the Glory of God?
What if after lovingly confronting someone about a sin (maybe more than once) they don’t repent? The Word of God continues to give us instruction – Matthew 18:16 gives us clear instruction. In the next post we will cover it.
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